Leaving is difficult — but it is possible
Leaving a toxic relationship may be the hardest thing you ever do. It is also one of the best things you can do for yourself. And, even if it sounds counterintuitive, it is also one of the best things you can do for your children.
"But the children..."
The argument most often used to stay is the children. It is also the argument most often used as a weapon by the abusive partner.
Children who grow up in a household with intimate partner violence are at increased risk of:
- Anxiety disorders and depression
- Problems with emotional regulation
- A distorted image of what a relationship is
- Permanent hypervigilance
Children don't need two parents living together. They need parents who are emotionally available and an environment where they can feel safe.
Organizing safety is already a parenting intervention: setting boundaries, creating predictability, involving support figures.
Practical steps
→ See the safety plan for the detailed action plan.
Filing a report
- Do it anyway, even if the experience is discouraging: it creates an official file
- Ask for a specialized point of contact
- If you're not believed: note the name and badge number, ask about the complaints procedure
Helpline 1712: 📞 1712 — free, anonymous — 1712.be
Shelter for men: referral via 1712.
Peer support groups
Keertij guides a peer support group for male victims of (ex-)partner violence in Ghent.
- Location: Ghent
- More info and dates: vzwzijn.be/project-mannenlotgenotengroep
- Contact: ruth@keertij.be — keertij.be