Introduction for professionals
As a professional, you come into contact with partner violence, sometimes explicitly and sometimes not. There is a good chance that you have already met male victims without recognizing it — not through negligence, but because the social lens still sees partner violence primarily as something that happens to women.
The figures
| Form of violence | Men | Women |
|---|---|---|
| Ever a victim of intimate partner violence | 33.1% | 31.3% |
| Exclusively psychological violence | 74.1% of male victims | 23.5% of female victims |
| Combination of multiple forms | 23.5% | 48.7% |
Police statistics 2024: 50,469 reports of intrafamilial violence — only 3% of victims report to police. The gap between population research and police statistics is an artifact of underreporting, not absence.
Why men don't report
- Shame and taboo — masculinity norms prohibit showing vulnerability
- Anticipating skepticism — justified fear of not being believed
- Victim-blaming — "you're bigger than her"
- Isolation — the partner has already cut them off from their network
- Counter-reporting — the partner has themselves filed a report
- Normalization — they think their situation is "not serious enough"
Epistemic injustice
"If a man and a woman tell exactly the same story, we generally tend to believe the woman faster and think along with her about solutions. Men are more often doubted. They also often hear that they should behave like a real man. So there is often victim-blaming too."
Experimental and qualitative research confirms that professionals too can follow gender scripts when assessing victimhood — with consequences for credibility, referral and interventions.
Recognizing signals
- Excessive sense of responsibility for the partner's mood
- Somatic complaints without clear cause (sleep disorder, fatigue)
- Social isolation, reduced contact with friends or family
- Minimizing: "it's fine, but she's having a difficult time"
- Fearful behavior or visible anxiety about the partner's reaction
- Incongruence: what he says doesn't match his non-verbal behavior
Recognizing signals? Assess the danger in a structured way with risk assessment.
Practical tools
Language and attitude
- Use gender-neutral language when screening ("has your partner ever...")
- Take the story seriously without relativizing
- Validate shame: "It's understandable that this is difficult to talk about"
- Never say "there's nothing I can do for you" — always refer
Screening questions
- Do you feel that your partner controls your behavior, movements or contacts?
- Are you afraid of your partner's reaction to everyday things?
- Has your partner ever threatened you — with the children, with a report, with suicide?
- Do you see your friends and family less than before?
- Do you feel that you no longer know who you are?
Always question both parties separately.
Why aggressors often cannot see their own behavior: read about context blindness.
Documenting injuries and impact (for physicians)
Careful documentation by the (family) doctor is often the only objective evidence male victims have. Principles:
- Describe objectively and in detail: nature, location, size and age of injuries; use a body diagram and take photos — with consent
- Record the patient's account in his own words ("patient states that…"), without drawing your own conclusions about the circumstances
- Also document psychological impact: sleep disorders, anxiety, hypervigilance — with predominantly psychological violence, this is the injury
- Draw up a detailed medical certificate and hand it over; keep a copy in the file — even if the patient does not want to take steps yet
- Record patterns over time: repeated consultations with stress complaints can together form a picture that a single certificate does not show
Referral
- 1712 — 1712.be
- CAW — caw.be
- Keertij — ruth@keertij.be — keertij.be
- Victim assistance — slachtofferhulp.be
Podcast
The invisible prison of male domestic abuse — a conversation about why male victimhood remains so difficult to recognise in professional care settings.
Frequently asked questions
How do I recognise a male victim of intimate partner violence?
Male victims show the same signs as female victims: withdrawal, nervousness around the partner, unexplained injuries, sudden financial difficulties and social isolation. A crucial difference: men tend to minimise more and rarely label their situation as 'partner violence'. Ask specifically about patterns of control, intimidation and fear.
What screening questions should I use when intimate partner violence is suspected?
Effective screening questions include: 'Do you feel your partner controls your behaviour or contacts?', 'Are you afraid of your partner's reaction to everyday things?', 'Has your partner ever threatened you — with the children, with filing a complaint, or with suicide?'. Always interview separately from the partner.
Why do male victims report intimate partner violence less often?
Three factors play a role: (1) gender norms — men are expected to be strong and self-reliant; (2) fear of not being believed or being labelled the perpetrator (DARVO risk); (3) structural barriers — support services have historically been oriented towards female victims. Only 3% of male victims file a report (EU-GBV survey, 2024).