Why male victimhood is invisible

Introduction for professionals

As a professional, you come into contact with partner violence, sometimes explicitly and sometimes not. There is a good chance that you have already met male victims without recognizing it — not through negligence, but because the social lens still sees partner violence primarily as something that happens to women.

The figures

Belgian EU-GBV survey (N=5800, age 18–74):

Police statistics 2024: 50,469 reports of intrafamilial violence — only 3% of victims report to police. The gap between population research and police statistics is an artifact of underreporting, not absence.

Why men don't report

1. Shame and taboo — masculinity norms prohibit showing vulnerability
2. Anticipating skepticism — justified fear of not being believed
3. Victim-blaming — "you're bigger than her"
4. Isolation — the partner has already cut them off from their network
5. Counter-reporting — the partner has themselves filed a report
6. Normalization — they think their situation is "not serious enough"

Epistemic injustice

"If a man and a woman tell exactly the same story, we generally tend to believe the woman faster and think along with her about solutions. Men are more often doubted. They also often hear that they should behave like a real man. So there is often victim-blaming too."

Experimental and qualitative research confirms that professionals too can follow gender scripts when assessing victimhood — with consequences for credibility, referral and interventions.

Recognizing signals

• Excessive sense of responsibility for the partner's mood
• Somatic complaints without clear cause (sleep disorder, fatigue)
• Social isolation, reduced contact with friends or family
• Minimizing: "it's fine, but she's having a difficult time"
• Fearful behavior or visible anxiety about the partner's reaction
• Incongruence: what he says doesn't match his non-verbal behavior

Practical tools

Language and attitude

• Use gender-neutral language when screening ("has your partner ever...")
• Take the story seriously without relativizing
• Validate shame: "It's understandable that this is difficult to talk about"
• Never say "there's nothing I can do for you" — always refer

Screening questions

• Do you feel that your partner controls your behavior, movements or contacts?
• Are you afraid of your partner's reaction to everyday things?
• Has your partner ever threatened you — with the children, with a report, with suicide?
• Do you see your friends and family less than before?
• Do you feel that you no longer know who you are?

Always question both parties separately.

Referral

• 1712 — 1712.be
• CAW — caw.be
• Keertij — ruth@keertij.be — keertij.be
• Victim assistance — slachtofferhulp.be