This is called post-separation violence.
What it looks like
Via the children
- The children are used to gather information about you
- Custody arrangements are systematically sabotaged
- The children are turned against you (parental alienation)
- False accusations of child abuse are filed
Via the courts (administrative/institutional abuse)
- Successive legal proceedings to exhaust you financially and emotionally
- False accusations as a tactic
- Deliberately delaying proceedings
Via finances
- Refusing to pay alimony or settle debts
- Legal proceedings about property
Via direct contact
- Harassment, stalking, unwanted messages
- Threats via third parties
What you can do
- Document everything — even after separation: messages, missed handovers, false accusations
- Communicate via text — avoid verbal arrangements without evidence
- Limit contact to the strict legal minimum required
- Legal framework: a restraining order is possible with proven harassment
- 1712 can also help after separation
For your children
Children who witness post-separation violence also need support. Involve a neutral professional if you notice they are under pressure.